By Charity Mwengi
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This article will definitely talk about the changes you experience when you leave your long/short term relationship and transition to single hood,these are only 5 points that people rarely talk about.
The Distraction Phase To Cope With Being Single.
I don’t know how you do it but is it club hopping?is it having rebounds?,is it emotional eating?,Is it watching dozens of movies? Name it.This is a phase that is likely to happen when you’re coming to terms with the fact that you’re single and there is a high chance of messing up during this phase because you don’t give a F, all you’re just trying is to get over the pain you’re feeling.
Sabotaging your other relationships (being single)
This happens because you are losing hope in relationships because if A left you then B might also leave you.How does the sabotaging happen?you put walls around you ,you do not communicate to your friends,you start petty arguments so that they can get tired of you and leave.
Though some friends will leave us because they do not want to associate themselves with single people ,I know you’ve seen this happen maybe they think being single is contagious? But let’s face it friendship between a married and a single person doesn’t go all well.
These type of connections exist but it takes some kind of interventions to flourish.Lastly friends who stay friends with your ex should not be your friends anymore because how are you going to get over your ex when they are close to you through your friend?That’s torment.
Lack of Interest
Your favorite Love songs,romance themed movies will be a no go zone for you because of the memories they trigger ,you’ll even hate seeing people in love and you can’t help but think they’ll soon break up.
This phase can turn a person into a bitter person because all you have inside is hate and hoping bad things happen to your ex and any other strangers who walk past you holding hands.
Flooding of Memories
Have you ever sat in your house sober and you can swear you just saw your ex in the kitchen cooking you a meal like they always did ,then suddenly you feel their arms around your neck or waist like they always did then you snap back to reality and realize all those are memories.
You will miss the text and calls,sometimes you will stare at your phone hoping they will text or call you and you might be tempted to contact them as well,this phase can be as worse as not wanting to get out of bed on those days.
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Bumping into them Anxiety
I haven’t seen people talk much about this ,I can actually rank this as the most un talked about experience after break ups and I think the reason could be due to the fact that people want their exe’s to see them as strong and flourishing after the break up.
There will be a time when you meet them or hear their name and you will get so anxious that you will want to run away or even want to stay away from places they visit.But it gets better with time you will eventually heal and you will never be anxious around them.
I know being single can be scary for some us but that fear should not make you stay in unhappy relationship, I won’t tell you to leave that should be your own decision. Meanwhile comment down below any other phases you or others have gone or going through after a break up.
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