By Charity Mwengi
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Ghosting has everything to do with someone not being courageous enough to say they want to leave you, for stories about ghosting click here. Reasons why they ghosted you while you were dating.
Commitment in the relationship was never in their plans
Have you met someone and just jumped into a relationship without having the conversation if the the two of you are ready to be in a relationship?Then suddenly after the sex for a couple of months or weeks you realize your man is drifting away, but you do not want to confront them because you’re scared they might leave you.
You keep ignoring the distance between the two of you and before you know it they have vanished .Here is something I want you to know ,when you met them the two of you should have had the conversation that revolves around whether both of you want commitment or something casual,and I know not everyone is honest enough to tell you what they want and some people don’t even know what they want and that’s where you bring your intuition into play ,your intuition will never lie to you.
Too much relationship pressure
Relationships have their own challenges be it communication problems,infidelity,financial crisis,lack of trust, violence and so on.Such challenges can make a person give up on the relationship and leave without notice,but then instead of running away they should talk about the pressure they are experiencing with their partner and seek professional help if necessary because if he runs away he’s going to keep on doing that in the next relationship and the next relationship after that.
They have someone else
Some men choose the easy way out instead of ending the relationship because they have another woman on the side they decide to just vanish on you,looking for them and trying to talk things out is not necessary because they have shown you that somebody else is now the one for them and one thing about this type of men is they keep the cycle of ghosting women going so move on.
What are the signs your man is seeing someone else while you’re dating
They never let you touch their phone I know this has been a debatable topic for so long, if your sixth sense tells you to touch it please do whatever you find might save you from a lot
The sex changes different styles that you guys never tried or talked about before,they lie a lot about random things,they flirt with women on social media and you have a gut feeling they are cheating.
It’s a habit
If you keep on doing something for too long it becomes a habit.They have done this to a series of women and now its your turn.If you listen carefully they might even brag about it.So how do we find out if he is a serial ghoster and yet we do not want to revisit his past ?it’s simple get to know the guy first before getting into a relationship with him and as you get to know him you will realize he is not ready for commitment.
They either got or did not get what they wanted
A man who is after sex or money or whatever else they want from you,will stick around and pretend to want a relationship with you and in the process you might find them asking for favors frequently or rushing to have sex with you while the relationship is in it’s early stages.When they eventually get what they wanted they leave and they also leave if you do not give them what they wanted .
How do you deal with such a man?Keep them waiting as you take your time to know them better.
They changed their mind
People change their minds all the time and being in a relationship does not limit one from changing their mind ,so it might happen they realize the relationship is not going how they expected it to go, or priorities changed for example they decide to focus on their careers,new projects,hobbies and they do not want to involve you in them, therefore they escape the relationship without letting you know which is really unfair .In such a situation it’s best to move on .
Influence from friends
Guys talk to their friends about their relationships and for some reasons like jealousy, peer pressure ,saving their friend from a toxic relationship ,the hate for his girlfriend,the friend group deciding to stop dating they end up influencing the man to leave his relationship and instead of him telling you his friends are making him leave you he will just flee to protect his friends and the next time you meet him,he will be with the girl the friends approve of.
How do deal with this ?let him go you deserve a man who makes independent choices regardless of what others tell him to do.
Low self esteem issues
I have met guys who felt they were not worthy the girl they were in a relationship with ,they felt the girl was too pretty for them.Such a guy feels insecure in that relationship and they can’t help but think how long until this girl leaves me for another guy?why did she settle for me yet there were so many guys out there?is she cheating?With all these insecurities running through their mind they become overwhelmed hence they ghost you.
Emotionally Unavailable
An emotionally unavailable man can leave the relationship any day or time without a heads up because they are not emotionally invested in the relationship,this is the kind of a relationship that is one sided and they just don’t care what happens in that relationship do what you want to do,make all the plans,if you want to leave the relationship leave.Its safe to say in such a relationship you are dating yourself.
What do you do with such a man.I would have said do not get into the relationship with him but since it has happened,I’ll tell you stay ghosted because being in a relationship with such a man is the same as being single.
You are not good for them
Its not every time ghosting is a man’s fault ,as a woman you could be too toxic for them to handle and all they want to do is rescue themselves from that relationship.Nobody wants to stay in a toxic place we all want relationships that bring us joy and because majority of men do not want to air their problems to counselors or other people they leave without any explanation.Some women can also be dramatic when a man tells them they are leaving so he prefers to leave without saying.
They got bored with the relationship
As time goes by it’s easy to get bored by the people we are dating ,and some couples may opt to try different things to bring the relationship back to life or spice it up.In other instances a man might decide to go out there and find the kind of excitement he needs and that’s when he leaves you.
When a relationship starts to get boring we all notice and it’s better for the parties involved to talk about that issue early enough before ghosting happens,they either decide to spice up the relationship or break up.
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